Much like the first year or two I was in New York, parts of living here still seem so surreal. I often find myself walking down the street or riding the u-bahn and stopping myself for a minute to realize that yes, I do actually live in Vienna, and all those years of thinking about perhaps maybe one day being able to live somewhere like this...it's here now...and that's amazing. The past year and a half or so has taught me especially to live in the seasons you are in, and try to fully appreciate each one. In early November 2010, just after Marcus died, I left a comment on a blog that several of my friends read...on a post about gray vs. colors, and embracing both as they come. When I moved to Vienna, a very good (and wise) friend sent back to me those words I wrote at the time:
"13 days ago one of my best friends was killed in a bike accident. Six of us had all moved to NYC about the same time several years ago, and have formed an amazing family here together. So now, as the 5 of us try to figure out where to go from here and what life will be like now, I am taking a cue from the cold rainy weather today and just enjoying the beauty of the gray. Life sucks right now. I know it won't always be that way, and colors will find their place again, perhaps in slightly different shades, but they will return."
And yes, 16 months later as I was leaving New York, colors had returned, in very different shades, but they did return. And now this Vienna adventure has brought on entirely new palettes of colors, and I am constantly amazed at how blessed I feel to be able to experience it all.
When I was packing up and leaving home in February, I'm not really sure I had any idea what I was getting into, but I was definitely excited for the opportunity that had been placed in front of me. And looking back now, it was one of the smoothest transitions I've ever had. Going back to school wasn't as scary as I thought, living alone is totally doable, pulling German from the deep recesses of my brain is still a work in progress...but i'm doing it. I learned to do laundry on unfamiliar machines with tons of settings without ruining my clothes, grocery shopping no longer takes me a ridiculously long time, and I can easily buy train tickets and be in another country in a matter of hours!
To my friends and family at home - I'm not sure I'll ever be able to convey to you appropriately what your complete love and support meant to me through this time. I'm amazingly lucky to have a support system who's response to "I think I'm going to go to grad school in Europe" was never to try to talk me out of it, but was nothing but encouragement (at least to my face :)). Your emails and letters and facetiming/skyping at odd times have been invaluable, and I am so excited to get to spend this summer with many of you.
To my Vienna friends - this semester certainly would not have been the same without all of you, and I'm so thankful for everything from weekend trips to low key dinners to nights enjoying wine and the beauty of the city...and of course group projects and long days at school...and all the countless ways my cultural knowledge/appreciation is being expanded constantly...I hope all of you have restful summers, and I'll see you in September!
I'm still going to blog some while I'm home over the summer...how much exactly is yet to be determined, but I am really enjoying having this written record of things and there are a few things at home that I'd probably like to have properly written down somewhere.
Tschüss!